"Since I was given to understand the actual collection procedure was where the technician may be in imminent danger of being shot in unmentionable places by Frank Lickliter II..."

Jim Moriarty submits himself to a drug test, does his best to fail, but isn't faced with the horror that Tour players are howling about: drug technician supervision in the loo.

Comments

[Sam Sanderson]

Why are so many of the PGA Tour complaining about drug testing? Do they really believe that beta blockers don't calm your nerves? Do they not think that greater strength as a result of steriod usage equates to more distance? Or, is it - as it seems - everyone's big issue is the presence of the monitor in the collection room - do they all have an inadequacy complex?

[thusgone]

inadequacy complex? let's agree that the efficacy of beta blockers and steroids as performance enhancers in golf has nothing to do with the difficulty faced by the guys who have to give the samples. such a response is a non sequitur.

filling a cup with some authority monitoring you is pretty much the second biggest invasion of privacy a person can suffer, and that doesn't even factor in nerves and uncertainty based on what might be found (and please spare me the "if he did nothing wrong he has nothing to fear trope"; although they have a pretty good idea what will cause false positives, the list is not exhaustive and there is ALWAYS the chance of a mistake that takes away a guy's livelihood and reputation).

i can't imagine having to do that with a cop standing there watching over my shoulder. i sympathize with the tour players and everyone else who has to go through with this kind of big brother stuff.

[The Big K]

Oh the indignities of having to go wee in a cup with someone watching! Just for the opportunity to play golf and earn hundreds of thousands if not tens of millions of dollars per year? They really have a difficult life. Call Amnesty International.

[JackM]

Thus, I usually agree with you enthusiastically. But this is the world we live in these days. Athletes from other sports have ruined it for everyone. Wanna sponsor a Tour de France team?

Golfers need to quit whinging and start saying things like:

"unfortunately, these days every athlete is presumed to be guilty of using HGH or steroids. So in order to preserve golf's highly cherished reputation for integrity, we must lead the way on drug testing. Also, we must set an example for young golfers who may attempt shortcuts."

[Sisyphus]

Nice to see that someone else remembers Procol Harum.

[Phil_the_Author]

I just realized that Tiger's innate sense of "fortunate timing" has struck once again! Imagine anyone at the PGA telling him that he CAN'T take steroids or any other medications to aid in his healing and rehabilitation?

When he comes back, not only will Phil and everyone else have to deal with the story line of him being the next Ben Hogan and Casey Martin rolled into one, his renewed hunger to play and dominate once again, but that he will have the advantage of taking and using all the banned substances legally in preparation to do so!

Somebody up there REALLY likes him... ;)