The Potty Putter...

Several years into blogging not much makes my jaw drop, but this incredible find by GolfbloggerUK managed to do it. And no, this is not from The Onion. Amazon sells it. Really.



Grand Slam Down To Two...

There's nothing funny about Louis Oosthuizen pulling out of the PGA Grand Slam of Golf after damaging ligaments on the outside of his left ankle, leaving just two major winners left in the Slam event.

What is funny? Replacing him with David Toms after Retief Goosen and Zach Johnson were unavailable, reports Doug Ferguson.

Meanwhile, Players Championship winner Tim Clark remains available. That would require the PGA of America to acknowledge the event as a significant one. Big no-no!

SI Golf Group's 40 Under 40

I'm shocked, shocked that as the purveyor of this website the SI Golf Group did not deem me part of the "up-and-coming generation of influencers, trendsetters and newsmakers, an eclectic mix of talent worth watching today and for many years to come."

But then I learned how they came up with their list.

Nominees for this ranking were solicited from a variety of sources, including but not limited to the PGA Tour, the LPGA, the United States Golf Association, The First Tee, the Golf Course Superintendents Association of America, the American Society of Golf Course Architects, leading equipment manufacturers, and the editorial staff of the Sports Illustrated Golf Group. The finalists were determined by a panel of Golf Magazine editors.

Now Herre, there are people in those organizations I haven't offended in weeks!

Oh I know, you thought I was born in '69, that's what it was. Just an oversight.

I Have Failed You, My Dear Readers

Reader Seitz is correct, I missed the best part of Greg Norman's sitdown schmoozefest with Lewine Mair. While I reveled in answers that only an IMG press agent could love while the Shark waxed on about his beef and Presidents Cup arm sling, he lobbed this hanging curveball. Speaking of Lorena Ochoa's involvement in an Olympic design job for the Rio Olympics in Brazil, where Portuguese is the native language.

"It may be a learning process for her, but it can only help our cause that she can speak Spanish..."

"I'm my last few years on the regular Tour, there were other things stimulating me more than chasing a little white ball. I was bursting with ideas."

So many laugh-out-loud moments in Greg Norman's Global Golf Post interview with Lewine Mair, where to start? Well thanks to reader Tim for making me read this, otherwise I would have skipped it.

On his venture into the beef business.

Bart and I were bouncing ideas off each other and he suggested Wagyu beef. I twas the right idea at the right time in that the start of our operation coincided with the era of Mad Cow disease in Europe.

The good fortune to have been positioned so well to take advantage of a mini-atrocity!

On his bid to design an Olympic golf course in Rio:

It's something I'm keen to do, quite apart from the fact that it ties in well with my new ambassadorial link with  Omega, the Olympic timekeepers.

You know when I heard Greg Norman and Olympic design, Omega ambassadorial link immediately hit me as a natural reason for him to build the course. Plus, chances are better than good that it'll need to be renovated before the Olympics, so that's work for another architect. I smell a winning bid!

The chances are my bid is going to be a joint affair with Lorena Ochoa. Lorena is just setting out in the world of course design and is keen to learn, which is fine by me.

And what better time to learn on the job than on a golf course that might be seen by millions and produce the first medalists in over 100 years!

On the Open at Birkdale, and gulp, a dreaded Chrissie question.

I was nice and relaxed by Thursday and, yes, I wanted to play well in front of Chrissie. I had been keen that she could come and see what I could do. We had some very good conversations about competitive situations and pressure.

Not so much since.

Mair asks about this Presidents Cup captaincy so soon after the breakup.

I just had to get on with it. It wasn't easy because everyone wanted to know what was going on. I didn't say anything then about the breakup and I've never said anything since. It may sound odd, but what helped that week was having my arm in a sling. Away from the fact it was very painful, it helped to deflect attention from the marriage situation.

Whatever it takes to protect the brand!

Lawyers Declare Sea Island Auction A Success... For Themselves!

Only people charging $700 an hour could concoct something like this for the Sea Island sale of $212.4 million, up from the original $197.5. Carrick Mollenkamp reports:

In an unexpected twist, the four firms acquiring the assets include two—Oaktree Capital Management LP and Avenue Capital Group—that had submitted a winning bid of $197.5 million in August. But the bankruptcy process left the door open for an auction and Anschutz Corp. and Starwood Capital Group Global now will join Oaktree and Avenue in the purchase of the assets.

Anschutz and Starwood had been seen as competing bidders for Sea Island's assets, not as partners with Oaktree and Avenue. But during the course of the auction Monday, a joint bid materialized. A break-up fee of nearly $6 million is waived.

Under terms of a pact that must be finalized, an Oaktree-Avenue partnership will now buy the assets with an Anschutz-Starwood partnership.

Pro V1s Promise Not To Get Emotional On You As Highly Anticipated Anniversary Nears

Golf World Monday notes the 10-year anniversary of the paradigm-shifting introduction of Titleist's Pro V1 this week. Confirming that the fall is indeed a slow news time in golf.

More Rankings Comedy: Woods Just Needs To Make Appearance In Next Three Weeks To Retain Top Spot

Lawrence Donegan explains why Martin Kaymer hasn't moved to No. 1.

Kaymer has now won the last three tournaments in which he has played, a run of success that started at the US PGA Championship in August. Throw in Europe's dramatic Ryder Cup victory at Celtic Manor last weekend, to which he contributed 2½ points, and no wonder there are some people who would argue that "to hell with what the world rankings say, the German is the best player in the world right now".

James Corrigan on the chances of Kaymer vaulting to the top spot, as well as how Tiger could retain the No. 1 position by simply teeing it up somewhere.

Kaymer is not playing in this week's Portugal Masters but will attempt a four-timer in Spain next week. That would tee him up nicely for his own shot at becoming No 1 at the WGC HSBC Champions in Shanghai. He may even find Westwood waiting there to defend his new status. The Englishman confirmed he would be pulling out of Portugal and, because of the vagaries of the ranking system, that ensures that in three weeks' time he will be toppling Woods off the perch he has held for more than five years.

"I'm not allowing myself to think about it until it happens," Westwood said. "But yes, it is something I've always dreamed of."

The only way it will not happen is if Woods decides to play in the next three weeks, which is on the extremely doubtful side of unlikely. If, and when, he doesn't, it will leave Britain to boast the world's top-rated player for the first time since Nick Faldo in 1994. It may not be achieved in the manner in which Westwood wanted but, as he said: "I'll take it anyway."

Date Set For Westwood's Takeover Of No. 1 Spot Giving Further Credence To Fears World Ranking Is A Farce

...I mean, in need of tweaking!

From SI/golf.com's always fun weekly roundtable, especially when they sit inside watching golf telecasts so I don't have to:

Alan Shipnuck, senior writer, Sports Illustrated: Huge day of golf, here, there and everywhere. Let's start over there: According to the computer nerds at the Official World Golf Rankings, Lee Westwood is going to usurp Tiger Woods as No.1 on Oct. 31. But I'm not sure Westwood is even the best European right now. That would be Martin Kaymer, who today won the Dunhill Links, his third-straight victory dating to the PGA Championship. Who do ya like, Kaymer or Westy?

Jim Herre, managing editor, SI Golf Group: Kaymer, by a mile. He was a rock while winning the PGA Championship and again at the Ryder Cup. So solid over so many big putts-impressive.

Gary Van Sickle, senior writer, Sports Illustrated: It's funny that Kaymer was a load at the Ryder Cup, then turns around and wins-a major and three other wins. That said, I think Westwood beats him to No. 1. One question nobody has asked is: How far is Tiger going to fall down in the rankings eventually? Third? Fifth? Top 15? I don't know.

Shipnuck: I love Westwood's game, but at the majors he's never been able to make the key putt. Kaymer has already proven he can do it. That's a monumental difference.

Damon Hack, senior writer, Sports Illustrated: Give me the man with the major and the winning streak. It's gotta be Kaymer, with Westwood right behind.

“We’ll recommend another 80 rooms to the next owners.”

Sad to say I didn't catch a minute of the McGladrey Classic Sunday but I did enjoy the shower-inducing Q&A Matty G has posted with point-misser extraordinaire Bill Jones III, the dude who ran Sea Island into bankruptcy in pursuit of five-star status.

When I asked if he felt like President Obama, he said, “I feel more like President Bush--at least the media still supports Obama.”

When I asked him who was responsible for the fall of Sea Island, he said, “I’m the chairman and CEO; I take responsibility. When I took over, I had two options, to sell or to make it better. My goal was always to be the finest resort community in the world. Yes, you can always improve, and I made my share of mistakes, but I’m proud of what we’ve been able to build.”

At one point, before the renovations, the Cloister had dipped to a three-star rating. Both the Cloister and the Lodge have since earned five stars.

When I asked if 140 total rooms at the Cloister and the Lodge were enough to have a profitable resort-business model, Jones said, “We’ll recommend another 80 rooms to the next owners.”

And I'm sure they'll thank you for the advice as they show you the door.

The auction is today!

"A prospective captain couldn't have put it better."

Dermot Gilleece catches up with Paul McGinley, likely 2014 Ryder Cup Captain and 2010 assistant Captain who shares some behind-the-scenes moments from last week's Cup. There's the inevitable stuff that Captain Monty could have been one of Churchill's generals if he'd just been born a few decades earlier.

But this was fun:

"At Wednesday's gala dinner, we were all lined up to meet Prince Charles," said the Dubliner. "Protocol was explained, whereby you didn't address him unless spoken to and if you did respond, you called him 'Sir.' Fine, I thought. No problem.

"I happened to be at the end of the line of vice-captains and when my moment arrived, Colin Montgomerie introduced me as 'my vice-captain, Paul McGinley.' Whereupon I immediately put out my hand and said: 'Howya. I'm Paul.' Next thing I knew, Sergio Garcia beside me was doubled-up with laughter. Then I started laughing. Then Prince Charles started laughing."

From that point onwards, it became the joke of the European team room. On seeing McGinley, players would come up to him and say "Howya", followed by "I'm Lee" or Ross or Ian or whatever.

"Why they can't find some back tees on the Kings course and play the Ryder Cup there. If you're playing match play, you don't need a course 7,500-yards long."

Lots of intriguing remarks from Darren Clarke following the Ryder Cup at Celtic Manor. Two that stood out:

"When the matches were over, I went back into the locker room," reveals Clarke. "It was a strange time for me actually. All of a sudden I felt completely flat because I wasn't playing. All I had been doing was trying to help. So my job was done.

"Anyway, I went to the locker room. None of the players were there of course, only Jose Maria. He was sitting with his head in his hands. I put my arm round him. He was crying because we had won. And that set me off too. That's how much the whole thing means to him. And that's why he should be the next captain."

And this regarding Clarke's interest in a captaincy reminds us that another weak design looms.

"If at some stage in the future I was asked to be captain, then possibly I may be more suited to America," he continues. "My previous comments about Gleneagles wouldn't go down too well if I were to be captain there. I think those would inevitably be dragged back up again.

"I stand by what I said though. I can't believe - and I love Gleneagles, one of the most beautiful places in the world - why they can't find some back tees on the Kings course and play the Ryder Cup there. If you're playing match play, you don't need a course 7,500-yards long. You just don't. Par is only a number on a card and you don't have cards in match play. All you need is a course set up to provide excitement and birdies.

"I'm a huge fan of the Kings and the Queens. And I think Gleneagles as a whole is great. I just don't get the other course."