Telegraph Fiction: Tiger Snaps At British Foes; Offers "Tetchy" Response

I've read several accounts of Tiger's Tuesday press conference at Lytham, all were quite positive. Except the Daily Telegraph, which came up with a fictional take, the headline writer declaring:

Tiger Woods puts on happy face before snapping at British foes

And the sub-header:

American believes tough course rewards creativity; Questions over new swing provoke tetchy response

Oliver Brown's story didn't quite match the headline writer's fantasy, though this was a stretch too. I know, I was sitting in the front row.

Pressed on whether he was surprised to be on the cusp of becoming world No 1 again, he shot back, "No. That help you?" Mark Steinberg, his agent, looked on anxiously, as if dreading the next line of inquiry from the British press corps whom Woods so despises.

Comments

[Tim in Hoylake]

I don't think the british press are being unfair, and haven't had the same exposure to Tiger as the American press; who have asked and heard the curt responses to certain questions many times. Unfortunately, a non-answer can be made with discretion and manners, or not. Tiger, for many reasons, has ceased to be able to maintain the former, when asked on certain subjects. The "that help you?" comment is considered extremely rude by some on this side of the pond. And judging by Tiger's smirk that follows, indicates that he knows exactly how rude he is, and is proud to be so. So expect mild jibing in return, one would conclude.

[Seán O'Nuallain]

"Are you surprised to be on the cusp of becoming world No 1 again?"

What a stupid f______ question. It deserved nothing more than a "Next!" in response.

Perhaps we should have all questions leveled at Tiger and the answers he gave evaluated by sociologists/linguists/whatever. I wonder if we wouldn't find an unexpected by some correlation between in inanity of the questions and the sharpness of the answers.

[Press Agent]

Tiger can play golf. That is it. He has never been good at speaking, he has never been a good interview, he has never been the least bit interesting to listing to and he has never been a quarter as funny as he thinks he is. There was nothing wrong with that question, in fact it was quite a good question - considering the depths that he sunk to, at times looking pathetic on the golf course, is he not surprised to be back challenging for number one again? very good question. Should also ask if such a thing is not an indication that something is very wrong with the Official World Golf Rankings. If he reaches number one again, we definitely know the system is broken. ha ha ha. For some reason people believe that because he can hit a white ball into a hole, Tiger must also be intelligent, witty, funny and charismatic, it's just the press irritate him so that part cant' come out - WRONG. He's an irritable dullard with nothing interesting to say. Go do some more 'reps' sad sack and leave the pressers to people with a personality.

[Seán O'Nuallain]

So PA, the better answer is something like "yes, I thought my game had sunk to such depths that it would take a decade to get back to #1." Or perhaps, "no, I'm not at all surprised given the ridiculous nature of the OWGR formula." Or the oft criticized approach players have taken of "well yes, I sure am surprised but nonetheless I'm delighted." Or heaven forbid, "well, you know, it's been a process."

Stepping aside from the sarcasm, what is a proper response to that question? I can't think of an answer that might be remotely interesting. And in my view that's a commentary on the dullard questioner not the dullard responder.

[Tiger's Bald Spot]

Too many foes, and not enough hoes for Old Porndog.

[@Sean O'N]

@ Sean O'N ... An answer that would be "remotely interesting" is one that shows some thoughtfulness, maturity, growth, etc. on Tiger's part.The very least he should have been is to be gracious and considerate. Tiger's answer and its delivery speaks to the character of Tiger: self-centered and not much there. Tiger is but a little kid playing grownup. He's truly not changed a bit inside at all since his Florida car accident. But, I like how you wrote that both parties to the exchange are dullards. Are you somewhat familiar with dullards, Sean?

[Seán O'Nuallain]

I am now.

[Goose]

Technically, his answers were fine up until the GQ incident.

[Teeing into the Wind]

@Goose, technically everything was honky dory until his answers were provided by Mindy Lawton and the two Jamies.